You Know You Live In The Middle Of Nowhere When…Part One

You know you live in the middle of nowhere…the boondocks…the hinterlands…the isolation of country life when…you have no electricity, no water or plumbing, no land line telephone or cell phone…are you kidding? TV and radio are a non-existence item…no news of the world and no local news…you have no clue what is happening in the outside world. No Wi-Fi…DSL or Internet. You are cut off from civilization. Hello? Hello can you hear me now?

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It’s you and mother nature…usually a few hundred cows and several horses along with a few dogs and my cat!

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I thought it would be fun to compile my list of recognizing when you are living in the remote solitude of nowhere, finding yourself in the boondocks of the twilight zone…so here we go, hang on!

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You know when you live in the middle of nowhere when…

1-You do not see another person besides your husband and your son for weeks at a time…we lived in our camp trailer while our house was being remodeled, with Kalamazoo, our black Manx kitty who was 14 years old and our son who was almost 18…oh fun-fun!

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Incredibly, we managed to live for almost six months in our camp trailer together…our gooseneck horse trailer was my pantry as it held my freezer and refrigerator plugged into an extension cord that ran to the house. I was awfully glad to move into the ranch house at the end of the six months of trailer living, but we found silly things to laugh about and we learned what was truly important in life…which is the greatest lesson of all!

2-You can tell which neighbor is driving by in their pick up by the sounds their pick up makes…be it exhaust or the type of engine or maybe it just makes a sound all its own…and you know who it is!

3-You only go to town for groceries and supplies once a month…and it takes a couple of hours to get to town on windy country roads and curvy two lane highways….

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Incredible scenery though:)

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4-You live in the least populated county in the least populated state in the United States…and sing “Oh Give Me A Home Where The Buffalo Roam…” and the song comes true!

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5-You can see a million stars as well as the satellites that pass overhead…you can often see the Northern Lights or the Aurora Borealis with the incredible colors. William Shakespeare once said,”My Soul Is The Sky”…he was right as the endless sky and solar system truly feed my spirit with a sense of awe! The night sky is huge out in the middle of nowhere and especially in Wyoming with the altitude, we felt much closer and saw much more than ever before…no pollution…just crisp clear sky that went on forever and ever whether at night or during the daytime…it was and still is incredible to live in the boondocks!

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6-You missed the first Gulf War due to lack of TV reception, lack of radio reception and no newspapers to be found…we had no idea what was happening in Kuwait or Iraq…it was bizarre!

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7-Due to country-itous, you resort to silly games…such as when you talk to your spouse, you pick up a piece of wire from a bale of hay and look them in the eye saying, “I feel really wired this morning from my coffee.” And the humor and country games begin!

8-You literally have to mail order everything from a tube of lip gloss to a much needed tractor part…thank goodness for the mail as it was my salvation!

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9-You catch one of your employees playing “Catch the Live Rattlesnake “with your 15-year-old son on a warm summer evening in your yard no doubt, around your house, where they have the snake on a leash of bailing twine saying “Here Mr. Sneaky Snake…Come On…Come See Me!”

10-The above employee Brian, kills the snake, forgets to tell you that he put the meat etc. into one of your baggies in your back porch refrigerator…then leaves as he forgot to take it when he left…and you get up in the middle of the night for a cold drink of water or ice tea that you keep in the back porch refrigerator….you do not have your contacts in and you see this baggie with sort of dark reddish stuff in it…and you wonder what in the world…you squint your eyes real good and then you see the diamond back skin in the dark red blood…and now you scream obscenities…stomping up the stairs to your bedroom…waking up the husband who hears you swearing and saying some very choice names…and he thinks uh-oh saying “Yes dear, yes dear, I agree!”

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11-Brian hears that you found his snake guts…and he stays away and hides from you for a good two weeks.

In Central Oregon, in one summer we killed 36 rattlesnakes just at the ranch complex where we lived…they were everywhere we went. The hay fields were full of them and often they would get baled into a bale of hay so when you get the job of walking and rolling the bales over…you roll and watch carefully. WB had one bite the fork on the bale wagon and it hung on so hard, it tipped the hay bale over that it was trapped in…their bite is evil and their mouths are so strong!

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12-A night at the movies consists of an evening drive up on that mountain for fun…as you grab your camera and your music, taking your guns just in case you see a snake or a bear or a critter!

13-In Wyoming, you see more skunks than people! We had a black Manx kitty who accidentally got out of the house at dusk…I pulled on my boots…I was pretty stylish with my boots and my nightgown…I grabbed a flashlight and begin to hunt for him…oh there he is you think…What? NO IT IS NOT…it’s a skunk that you have the light on calling here kitty kitty…make another note…always, ALWAYS wear your glasses!

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14-A few weeks later a skunk gets under your house about 3:00am and sprays right under your bedroom….OH MY GOSH! Instant coughing and pungent fumes wake you up as you come gagging out of your bedroom…eyes watering as the smell somehow becomes a taste in your mouth! Our son goes to school the next day and while in home room one of the students and the teacher ask, who got sprayed by a skunk? Your son dies of embarrassment as he is the newest student in a very small school…that night he goes out and shoots a couple skunks for revenge! I could not believe how many skunks there were in Wyoming…they were everywhere!

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And with that said…this ends part one…it’s beautiful out today with clear sunny skies and currently 76 degrees! Have a wonderful week!

Part Two is next…stay tuned:)

 

37 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. philosophermouseofthehedge
    Apr 29, 2014 @ 17:03:05

    Ha – In the middle of nowhere – but smack dab in the middle of life. (and I need to get back there) Great post. Made me smile

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      Apr 29, 2014 @ 20:32:33

      You are right on:) Yep…without all the distractions of life, technology and etc. you are more rested, peaceful and right in the middle of life:) I’m glad it made you smile!

      Reply

  2. Dan Traun
    Apr 29, 2014 @ 17:13:35

    Doesn’t sound bad at all.

    Reply

  3. Easter Ellen
    Apr 29, 2014 @ 18:10:23

    I absolutely loved this post.. brought me to a world so very different than my own.

    Reply

  4. neilirving
    Apr 29, 2014 @ 23:59:22

    Great post and after 40 years of cities and suburbs it sounds almost perfect, lol apart from the snakes and skunks

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      Apr 30, 2014 @ 13:27:28

      Thank you:) It is perfect and seeing life in a different way and experiencing that way of life, living on the land that mankind has not touched yet was incredible:) The snakes were truly awful..you get used to it sorta, you carry a gun and watch where you step and avoid areas where they would be…having the river and the hay crops made it bad as the snakes get hot too and like finding wet stuff to hide in and lay on…plus it was a high desert so we had lots of rocks where they could live…but no the snakes were yuk…skunks were not fun but they were easier to avoid.

      Reply

      • neilirving
        Apr 30, 2014 @ 13:55:25

        I suppose it’s a small price to pay for living in such a stunning part of the world, and a interesting lifestyle, I love the picture of the stars you really have to hunt for a spot where you can see stars like that in the UK

      • Hot Rod Cowgirl
        Apr 30, 2014 @ 20:30:22

        Never a dull moment! Yes the night skies here are amazing and incredible to see.

  5. bentehaarstad
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 02:50:59

    In the middle of nowhere, that ‘s the best place. Obviously.

    Reply

  6. onespoiledcat
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 03:26:51

    WOW……this makes my life seem so desperately BORING! ;) I think you are so lucky to have so much beauty surrounding you even if it occasionally is fraught with storms, snakes, and UPS men delivering supplies!! You’re living “the life” that many of us wish we could…..I hear the traffic and you hear Mother Nature singing her songs. Can’t wait for “Part Two” !!

    Hugs, Pam

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      Apr 30, 2014 @ 13:22:22

      Thank you much:) I do know how lucky I have been…believe me I have seen some incredible times and even if they were at times hard, I loved every minute of it! Growing up on a remote ranch paved the way for WB and I to go manage other remote ranches…and it is funny but the more remote the ranch is the more WB and I like it…we truly appreciate untouched landscapes, the weather, the isolation and not having cell service or computers…it is nice! When our two boys were still with us, we as a family bonded more without the modern conveniences…without the distractions of modern life it was way better! Hugs and Kitty Luvs to Sammie:)

      Reply

  7. Marilyn Armstrong
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 07:13:22

    And there I was thinking WE are rural. You win, hands down! But we still have to mail order almost everything and are actually grateful for Walmart! Somewhere to get basic stuff! Wow. The only news that everyone talks about down at the lumber yard cum feed store is the weather. Actually, around here, that IS the news :-)

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      Apr 30, 2014 @ 13:17:38

      Hi there! It is good to see you and to see you are healing up well:) One day at a time huh? You are doing good…just don’t over-do:) Finally today is to be 80 degrees and it is perfect outside….love days like this! Having grown up on a remote cattle ranch helped when we moved to manage some of the remote ranches…I knew how to handle it and loved the remoteness. I was happy that we got to experience the different ranches:) Tell Garry Hi and I am sending you (((Hugs Marilyn)))

      Reply

  8. Catnip
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 10:50:36

    Awesomeness.

    Reply

  9. Ajaytao2010
    May 07, 2014 @ 11:39:26

    Please visit my new blog, hope you like it :)

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    thank you so much dear :)

    Reply

  10. foresterartist
    May 07, 2014 @ 20:53:45

    I love this post. We live in the boondocks, but you really are in the middle of nowhere. My wife would love that. I have cousins in Wyoming. I haven’t visited in years. We’ll have to go visit sometime.

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      May 07, 2014 @ 21:08:38

      Forever in my life:) We were close to Pinedale Wyoming…I would move back there in a heart beat…it truly hit my heart as it was the combination of the ranch I grew up on….where we live today is half way between the summer cattle ranch and the winter cattle ranch I grew up on…most cow ranches I have been around have both summer ground and winter ground…with my Dad’s cattle the winter ranch was important as we had cows calving through the winter months. I love the middle of nowhere…it is us and what I know. I love hitting Costco a few times a year and also shopping at Ranch and Home! But get me back home to the hinterlands:)

      Reply

  11. Nylabluesmum
    May 09, 2014 @ 17:52:04

    What a great blog!!!!! Absolutely fabulous!
    I live like I am in the middle of nowhere…with the once a month grocery shopping & cat food buying…
    Skunks here too…I have a bad habit of calling them…well I thinki I am calling a cat & what a surprise!!!! Funny thing: pierre the skunk has never sprayed me…he just looks at me & listenes & ambles away…maybe my inane babbling amuses him…or he likes the cat kibble I put out for the ferals.
    There are times when I do not turn on the RV or PC or radio…just sit in peace & I know nothing of thte outside world…
    You are mighty brave about the rattlesnkes; they would terrify me ;)
    Sherri-Ellen & Nylablue <3 <3

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      May 11, 2014 @ 14:57:50

      Thank you much:) You are like me as to be honest I do not care for having to shop for groceries so I try to organize and do it every 10-12 days…yeah skunks are funny….terrible smell but I too have mistaken them for a cat, only once at night…yikes!!! We also have porcupines here and I do not like them…our dogs have gotten hit by them a few times and it is nasty. Yeah the snakes did not make me feel warm and fuzzy at all…did not like them either…and it was always something you had to be aware of no matter where you went! And I love the sound of nothing too….it is a comfort when you need peace and when you want to sleep and when you want to think…not growing up with TV, I can live without it!!! I am about ready to load up part two of this blog….sending hugs your way my friends, to you both:)

      Reply

  12. Nylabluesmum
    May 11, 2014 @ 16:58:49

    I do enjoy grocery shopping but can not afford to go alot…some days I have no energy so it is nice to have enough in the place for the rough times.
    I too started out without TV. I was around 3 when my Grandparents bought the 1st TV. I remember watchin “Perry Mason” & pointing at the TV screen & saying “Father, Father” over & over again….he & Raymond burr looked so alike back in those days.
    I enjoy peace & silence also. Sometimes it is the best ‘sound’ of all.
    We have procupines also tho they stay away usually as we are an urban area altho more small town then big city.
    There is a TV ad for glasses here & a pretty woman is calling her cat “Kitty come to Mumma” & this adorable raccoon comes ambling in. The commercial goes on & the last scene is the woman in bed & the raccoon sprawled on the other side of bed. I spit my tea out when I first saw that ad!
    Thankfully our snakes are in the woods. We do have Rattlers also…I have heard the them in the woods a few times & ‘booked it out of the area’ so never saw one close up, hahaha!
    Bye for now, Sherri-Ellen

    Reply

    • Hot Rod Cowgirl
      May 12, 2014 @ 23:45:08

      Everything is so very expensive now…it is silly and it hits hard when you have to pay for it! Would love to see the TD ad for glasses:) Funny and silly…and good to laugh:) I hear you on the rattlers!!!

      Reply

  13. Nylabluesmum
    May 14, 2014 @ 12:23:04


    Here is the link to the commercial HRCG!!!! Hope you get a laff frum it like I do….it never gets old ;)
    Sherri-Ellen xo

    Reply

  14. Nylabluesmum
    May 15, 2014 @ 14:03:12

    Hope ya like it HRCG!!!
    I laugh everytime I see it!
    S-e.

    Reply

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